Monday, March 16, 2009

Hi All,

Please visit my new blog

In Search of a Greener Tomorrow

Hereafter will be concentrating on this new blog since the subject is more interesting.This new blog is more of visuals than write-ups.

Thank you all and see you there

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Inspiring ??

If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is likeexpecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian. Think about it.

Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear,but what we are inside .. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

Don't walk as if you rule the world,walk as if you don't care who rules the world! That's called Attitude…! Keep on rocking!

Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she didand is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!

He was a good man. He never smoked, drank had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim. They said, he who never lived, cannot die!

A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!

So many options for suicide: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow sure!

Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!

All desirable things in life are eitherillegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

Laziness is our biggest enemy - Jawaharlal NehruWe should learn to love our enemies - Mahatma GandhiAb aap bataaye kiski sune bapu di ya chacha di??? (which one you choose?)

10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which makes it a logical statement that90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

God Created Man

God created the donkey
and said to him.

"You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to sunset
carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass,
you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years."

The donkey answered:
"I will be a donkey, but to live 50years is much. Give me only 20years"
God granted his wish.
............ ......... ......... .......... ......... ......... ......... ..
God created the dog
and said to him:

"You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend.
You will eat the scraps that he gives you and
you will live 30years.
You will be a dog. "

The dog answered:
"Sir, to live 30years is too much,give me only15 years."
God granted his wish.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... .......... ......... ......
God created the monkey
and said to him:

"You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks.
You will be amusing and you will live
20 years. "

The monkey
"To live 20years is too much, give me only 10years."
God granted his wish.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .......... ..
Finally God created man...
and said to him:

"You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth.
You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals.
You will dominate the world and you will live 20years."

Man responded:
"Sir, I will be a man but to live only
20 years is very little,
give me the 30years that the donkey refused,
the 15years that the dog did not want and
the 10years the monkey refused.
" God granted man's wish
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

And since then, man lives
20 years as a man,

marries and spends
30 years like a donkey,
working and carrying all the burdens on his back.

Then when his children are grown,
he lives 15years like a dog taking care of the house
and eating whatever is given to him,

so that when he is old,
he can retire and live 10years like a monkey,
going from house to house and from one son or
daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren....
and life goes on and on...............................................

What A World is this Boss ???

When a Girl Cries ------------ The World "Consoles" her
But when a boy cries ---------- Come on man don't be A "Girl"

If A Girl slaps a Boy ----------- Definitely the Boy would have "done something"
If Boy Slaps a girl -------------- Rascal doesn't know how to "Respect Ladies"

If a Girl is talking to Boys ----- She is "Very Friendly"
If a Boy talks to a Girl ---------- He is "flirting"

If a Girl meets with accident -------------------- Then its "mistake of others"
If a Boy meets with same accident ------------ Bloody you "don't know how to Drive"

What A World is this Boss :-(

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

God's Sense Of Humour

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God She asked "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a Facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color.

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, She was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way Home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years?
Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"

God replied,
Sorry!! I didn't recognize you.

A few Indian Cartoons......

Speeka Daa Englishh..

The bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.

An American woman is sitting across from them. The woman isn't paying attention to their conversation at first, but her attention is grabbed when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma comes first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig" shouts the lady indignantly. "In this country....we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives..."

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella... 'Mississippi'."

Never Underestimate Drunkards....

Two drunkardss stumble out of a pub in at about 4:00 in the morning.
They stagger to the nearest lamppost and lean against it when along comes a policeman.

The first drunk pipes up, "Excuse me, ossifer, but I wonder could you tell me if the last bus to Dublin has left yet."
To which the policeman replies "Of course it has. It ' s 4:00 in the morning."
The second drunk then weighs in and says, "Sorry, sir, but I wonder if the last bus to Galway has left yet."
The officer again replies "Of course it has. It ' s 4:00 in the morning."

The first drunk then starts up again and asks, "Could you tell me please, ossifer, has the last bus to Cork gone yet."
The policeman is really irritated now so he shouts, "It ' s 4am, all the bloody buses have gone!"
And with that the first drunk turns to his friend and says,
"Ok, Mick, we can cross the road now."

Join The Queue

A man was leaving a cafe when he noticed an unusual funeral.
A funeral Coffin was followed by a second one.
Behind the second coffin was a Solitary man walking with a black dog.
Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single line.

The man couldn't stand his curiosity.

He approached the man walking with the dog, "I am so sorry to disturb
But I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in
single line.
Whose funeral is it?"

The man replied,"That first coffin is for my wife."
What happened to her?"
"My dog attacked and killed her."

"Well, who is in the second coffin?"

"My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked
And killed her also."

A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.
Then the First one asks in excitement, "Can I borrow the dog?

The man replied,"Join the queue…………………………"

Shortest 'Love' Story !!!

Boy:- Think again?
Girl:- I told u. No no & no
Boy:- Waiter, bring separate bills.............
Girl:- ok ok....... I Love u too.......:-)

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Sardar and Other Jokes

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".Sardar thinks "how poetic"Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".

Sardar at bar in New York .Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"
Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.kSardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but??how much is DRIVING salary...?***********************************************
Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light atnight when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when lightis not needed!!!***********************************************
2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks theother to check whether its working, he puts his head out and saysYES...NO...YES...NO...YES...NO...

Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriageand cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the postoffice...
A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"
2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!..
A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating.......
A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in theexam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with fatherin the essay and it read:

Interviewar: what s ur qualification?Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....
Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?Sardar : liquid state.....Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS.......
Teacher : Give an example of complete bussiness failure due to negligence??
Sardar Student : A Pregnant Prostitute.......


Ravan: "Tell me child, what do u want?"
Pappu: "i want 100 vardan's"
Ravan: "but i can give u only 3 vardans"
Pappu: "but i want 100 vardans"
Ravan: "no child, that's not possible"
Pappu: "no i want 100 means 100"
Ravan: "no i can give u only 3 if u want then take or else i m going."
Pappu: "ok but whatever 3 i ask u, will you grant me surely?"
Ravan: "sure, its promise from rakshas raj Ravan"
Pappu: "1st vardan, convert that GADA on ur shoulder to wodden bamboo stick"
Ravan: "tathastu" and his Gada turns into a stick.
Pappu: "second vardan, put that stick in ur a**hole"
Ravan: (confused but........)"tathastu" and in great pain asks pappu toaskfor the third vardan asap...
Pappu: "now, are you giving me rest 98 vardans or should i ask forconverting that stick again to GADA ??"

Nail In The Fence

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.
His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.
Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down.
He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the ! day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.
He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said,
"You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say "I'm sorry", the wound is still there.
A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us."

Appraisal Letter

Dear Manager (HR),

Vinod, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Vinod works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Vinod never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Vinod takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Vinod is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Vinod can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Vinod be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
sent away as soon as possible.

Signed - Project Leader

NB: That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report
sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3, 5, 7, 9,11, 13)
for my true assessment of him

Virgin Bride

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence, OKAY!!